Do you have a case of the "should"s?

Do you ever suffer from the occasional case of the "should"s?

Here's what it can look like:

  1. "I should have done this differently."

  2. "I should NOT have done that."

  3. "I should be doing this right now."

  4. "I definitely should not be eating that."

This guilt, regret, and shame can come from within or from others, and of course it's not productive. We all know that.

Yet it still exists. It can pop up in our minds from out of nowhere sometimes (this happened to me today, hence the post lol).

Ok, so if we know it exists and is part of the human condition, AND it's not productive....what's the solution?

In true anti-guru fashion, I don't have "the" solution. I do, however, have things that work for me and have worked for others. Here we go:

  • -journaling

  • -exercise

  • -taking a nap

  • -reading a book or watching a show

  • -talking to a friend, mentor, coach, and/or therapist (p.s. you can always reach out to me if you need someone to talk to)

  • -realizing you're not alone in dealing with the shoulds

Overall, it's better to acknowledge negative feelings and process them than to ignore them. Maybe you place them on the back burner for a minute until you have the mental space to tackle them, but they have to be dealt with eventually.

Ashley Harwood